Out of the Mouths of Babes Who Watch Far Too Much Cartoon Network
May 13, 2009, 5:57 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: , , ,

For Mother’s Day, my spouse and offspring took me out to Best Buy and bought me a new cordless mouse.  This might not sound like a very glamorous gift, but in my current economic state it was almost more excitement than I could handle.  First we went to Marquette Park, where we tossed around a frisbee in the drizzle until it became a downpour.  We were there in the first place not because it was my deepest longing, but because my child had become intrigued with the place, which tells you everything you need to know about how mothers operate.

At Best Buy, I chose a petite Logitech model that nests inside my doll-sized paw like it was born to be there.  On the way out, a store employee asked me if I wanted him to take my picture with my daughter.  I would much rather take pictures of other people than have them take mine, but I hadn’t seen this coming and I saw no graceful way to decline this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.  I muttered something to the effect that we’d been at the park and I must look a mess, but I didn’t even think to check a mirror and survey the damage, because frankly I just wanted to get this awkwardness over with so I could go home and play with my new toy.

We posed beneath an arc of alternating pink and white balloons, then waited endlessly for him to print the image out and press it into a card.  When he handed it to me, I cringed not only because I looked as awkward as I felt, but also because I had a little wing of hair on the left side of my head.  No, not a wing–a horn.  I joked that I should just draw in a horn on the other side to match so it would be symmetrical, which my not-quite-nine-year-old-and-clueless-about-the-facts-of-life offspring thought was pretty funny.

As we reached the car, she piped out “Well Mommy, I guess you’re just a Horny McHornypants.”

The spouse and I exchanged one of those glances that says It is understood that we would both be rolling on the pavement in great spasms of hilarity right now, except that (a) we don’t want to embarrass our daughter, and (b) we don’t want to have to explain why this is so damn funny.

Settling into my seat, I said “Only in Daddy’s dreams,” because that was my line.

2 Comments so far
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HAH! Some day, when she hits her mid-late teens, you can show her all your archived blog posts that you couldn’t share now

Comment by Bubs


Oh, I think my spleen would have burst.

Comment by Marianne

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