Season’s Greetings From The Dena
December 24, 2008, 6:35 am
Filed under: Uncategorized


In the spirit of the helladays, I would like to share more or less verbatim an exchange I had with a female person in the washroom of the Unique Thrift Shop at 51st & Kedzie on Saturday December 20.  To set this up I will first disclose that I have a mild case of a bashful kidney and hence prefer not to engage in conversation while I’m taking care of personal business.  It’s not that I don’t want to, although I suppose if I had to be honest I really don’t.  To look at it from a different angle, I’m there for a reason and talking isn’t it.  If that makes me antisocial, then so be it.  I just feel there should be certain times a lady should have the privilege of remaining silent.

ME: (Enters washroom, sees regular stall occupied, heads toward handicapped stall).

WOMAN IN STALL: (Something unintelligible).

ME: Pardon me, ma’am?

WOMAN IN STALL: I asked you, did the weather turn bad out there yet?

ME: Ma’m I don’t want to have a conversation!

WOMAN IN STALL: What did you say?

ME: I said, I DON’T want to TALK!

WOMAN IN STALL: Well, I never said you did!

ME: (Silence).

WOMAN IN STALL: (Unintelligible).

ME: (Silence).

I’m congested from a cold, late getting to Peoria for Christmas, behind in several projects, and, yes, things could be worse.  As soon as all this holiday nonsense is over, I promise I’ll have stuff to talk about.  I swear, I don’t even know how much I weigh and I don’t want to know.  Thanks to everyone who tuned in here this year; my only regret is that I don’t have more time and energy to post.


3 Comments so far
Leave a comment

Hahahahaha… “I never said you did.”

So did you stand there and stare at her as she emerged from the stall, or did you retreat from the bathroom and observe discretely until she left?

Comment by Bubs

Actually I never set eyes on the beeyotch because it took me so long to accomplish my goal (thanks to her) that she had disappeared by the time I finished. I imagined her standing surreptitiously, watching me emerge to see who was so tragically rude to her.

Comment by denalynn2001

You should’ve pissed on the floor in front on her stall.

Next time, eh?

Comment by Marianne

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