Friday Random Return
October 27, 2007, 5:26 am
Filed under: Uncategorized

It’s still Friday in at least one time zone, just not this one. So sue me, y’all.

I’m sure it’s an understatement to say that no one regrets my long absence from this space anywhere near as much as I do, but it gratifies me just as much to be typing away here as it did earlier tonight to stretch my neglected body through a Pilates routine for the first time in a couple of weeks. I swear, I never knew muscles could weep with joy.

I’m not sure how much I’ll have time to share about what I’ve been going through for the past month and a half, but I’ll give you the short version for now just so I can post something. At the end of August, first my daughter started school and then I went back to school myself at the beginning of September. I despised my schedule, having been unable to obtain an online or downtown course that would help lighten the traveling. Instead I found myself with late classes on campus two nights in a row and with two three-hour classes on Wednesdays, no mean feat when one has a two-hour trip home on public transportation. I began the semester annoyed and distracted, chronically exhausted, overwhelmed and struggling to focus on my work.

In this context, I saw my father begin to decline before my eyes. On a weekend trip to visit my parents, he suddenly needed his oxygen all the time because his lung capacity had decreased. On the morning of the day we left, we all went to Denny’s and he barely made it to the car because he wasn’t getting enough air. A month and one stroke later he was dead, less than two weeks after I visited him in his hospital room and watched him fight for each breath. His funeral was just a week ago. I thought I was prepared for this, but now I realize I thought he’d be sitting his his reclining chair forever, watching the same Westerns with the volume turned up too loud, complaining about how much it sucks to grow old.

Struggling now with loss and change, I am also struggling to get caught up with the schoolwork that I couldn’t focus on while we were on a death watch. Meanwhile life goes on, with Halloween and mammograms and laundry to contend with, and I cannot overstate how much I appreciate the luxury of just having a few nights at home to exercise and blog and fret about my schoolwork. If I had my iTunes on shuffle right now, this is what I would hear:

1. John Cale: Waiting for the Man

2. The Beatles: Till There Was You

3. The Polyphonic Spree: Section 22: Running Away

4. The Bonzo Dog Band: Hunting Tigers Out in ‘INDIAH’

5. Nick Lowe: I Knew the Bride (When She Used to Rock ‘n’ Roll)

6. Hank Williams: My Bucket’s Got a Hole in It

7. Bruce Cockburn: Lily of the Midnight Sky

8. Badfinger: Flying

9. Leonard Cohen: Alexandra Leaving

10. Christopher O’Riley: 2+2=5

I swear, I’ll try not to be a stranger.  But right now I’m looking at a 10-page paper and a group presentation, and for the moment I am their bitch.

1 Comment so far
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but hey, you’re a strong, feisty bitch! (and of course i mean that in the nicest way possible… 😉 )


Comment by Cori

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